Remembering the Past

Remembering the past – is it good or bad? In my experience memory is not just one or the other. Some memories have warm, consoling, and encouraging aspects. Other memories lead to sadness, shock, and even bitterness. Some memories have both positive and harsh qualities.

As I write this article, I am also conscious that I forget many experiences. It seems strange to remember that I forget, but it is true. In fact, I do not know that I have forgotten something until someone reminds me. I need a stimulus, a reminder, or something that triggers that part of my brain where memories are stored. In a general way, I want to be aware that I have the capacity to both remember and forget.

Recently, I remembered that someone told me about a very important personal experience. Because the experience was so much more important to the other, then most important thing that I could do was to be listen as s/he was telling me about what happened. In that moment, I was very focused and alert to the person, to what was being said. I was trying to assess the needs and emotions of the person in order to respond appropriately. But, after the appointment, I tried NOT to remember. The person asked me not to do anything in relation to what s/he said, so I tried to let the memory go.

In the Sacrament of Reconciliation, I try NOT to remember anything more than the happiness and relief that the penitent demonstrates as s/he receives absolution of sin and then departs from the confessional. I concentrate on the hope that the person does not sin again. I am not dwelling on the sin, but on all of the reasons to hope in God and in that person. Then, the next penitent appears and it is time to focus on him/her. I need to focus on the next person who wants to receive and feel God’s loving forgiveness. It is time to forget the past and pay attention to the present. Many penitents have heard me say: “Remembering our past sins and mistakes is not so that we can feel guilty. Rather, we remember the past in order to learn, even from our mistakes.”

Over the years I have written several reflections about memory and the past. I do not think that I have ever written one like the above, but it is possible that I have forgotten. 🙂

Peace, Fr. Andy