“An Expression of Love”?

Why do we resist that which is right and good? We do not resist or reject the good all of the time, but why do we resist it at all?

Bad habits and unhelpful messages that we learned when we were young are difficult to overcome. Some of us were told and learned that the physical or verbal abuse we endured when we were children was done “because of love.” A repeated message that “this is love” WHILE we are being abused is tremendously harmful. We accept the abuse because someone whom we needed told us that it was an expression of love. Such thoughts and behaviors can lead to other harmful thoughts about oneself, and, can frequently lead to imposing the same abuse upon others as “an expression of love.” The abusive cycle continues.

Addicts (alcoholics, gamblers, drug addicts – methamphetamine, heroin, cocaine, marijuana, etc.) are on the same continuum with the persons described above. Their story may go like this: the person was feeling sad, angry, depressed, abused, hurt, etc. and just wanted to escape the hardships of real life. S/he heard that this drug or that activity was like living in another world. S/he tried the drug, the drink, the wager, the risk and escaped reality. Maybe the “high” felt good, but then came the crash into reality again. After the high, nothing was different except the memory of escape. But now a physiological hunger has been triggered. The result is that the escape is now linked to need, or the beginning of addiction. After a use of the drug with the hope to escape something, soon the addiction, the hunger, the desire for the drug takes over. Now it is pure addiction. There is no escape, except to choose the journey of recovery. That will be hard.

The road of recovery begins with humility and courage. The recovering addict must face shame, the need to forgive and be forgiven, and the need to face reality, not escape it. The recovering addict must face the persons s/he loves who have been hurt.

Like in the Gospel this weekend, many people recovering from addiction or abuse see themselves like the son who first said “no” to his father’s request, and then did what was asked. These persons discover that God is patient, waiting and loving as we make mistake after mistake. We have the chance to make changes. Now is the time.

God is waiting! And so are our loved ones.

Peace, Fr. Andy