Domestic Violence and Respect Life
October is both Domestic Violence Awareness Month and Respect Life Month. In both areas, which are very deeply connected, we have much work to do. We must come to deeper awareness of the damage done by our failures to respect life. We also must learn to end family violence and to seek peace. God has created us out of love, and given us life and love to share with others.
It is important to strengthen families and help young and not so young adults to cherish their love for one another as a gift from God. Love is a special gift. It is not to be manipulated or misused. Love is not expressed by violent words or actions. There is no right to be violent, or envious, or possessive of one’s spouse or loved one. Many abusers in cases of domestic violence attempt to justify their actions by saying that the other “deserved” the abuse. This is unhuman and un-Christian to think and act this way.
The violence in abusive relationships is not normal. Persons have learned this abnormal behavior. Since such behavior is learned, it can be unlearned, or be replaced with a more respectful way of thinking and relating. This is what is meant when we say, “we must end the cycle of violence.” We are saying that we must teach and learn new ways to face conflict and differences of opinion. Violence is never justified!
Unfortunately, we have a problem in the U.S. and in the world. Did you know that homicide is the leading cause of death in the U.S. among pregnant women and for those who recently gave birth? Researchers found that U.S. women who are pregnant, or were pregnant in the within the previous six weeks (the post-partum period), die by homicide at more than twice the rate than they die of bleeding or placental disorders — the leading causes of what are usually classified as pregnancy-related deaths. We have a problem with respecting life in this country and in the world!
If we are going to change attitudes and beliefs about the sanctity of life, of course, we must speak of the manipulation, threats of violence, and the immature understandings of sexual relationships and their consequences. What are the root causes that people cite for seeking abortions? We must end this “cycle” of poor decision-making. In the changes to the abortion laws in the U.S., we have not adequately addressed the root issues surrounding unexpected and so-called “unwanted” pregnancy.
May we obey the God of life!
Peace, Fr. Andy